Recipe for a shit hot curry.
1 Angry wife;
1 Husband;
1 Pile of dog shit;
Place the dog shit in the husband's curry;
Simmer gently...
A mixture of law, politics, autobiography and humour. Once described as "The Devilish Advocate" (Guardian), I do have the ability to provoke a response. Sometimes it comes from someone who uses a thought process, and sometimes from jerks usually associated with the knee.
I have a story nearly as good. When we were a lot younger we used to live in a large flat with five other flatmates, one of which used to come in pissed as a rat i the earlyhours of the morning and raid our pot of cooked dinner surplus which we had saved for the next day and/or our food out of the fridge. Having had enough of this one day, we cooked up a potfull of "stew" made up with some boiled taters, canned dumplings and dog chubb mixed with a couple of cans of dog food. We added a dead spider to taste and left it on the gas hob.
ReplyDeleteThe next morning we noted that the level in the pot had gone down somewhat, obviously not due to evaporation. Top Hat, as he was known got up around midday looking a bit green around the gills as he usually did and sat down on his favourite cushion on the floor and started to roll a fag.
"Nice night last night?" my misses politely asked him.
"Yeah", he said "It was alright. I met a Dutch bloke in the bar and we played pool all night. He came back here after that and we had a smoke of some of the blow that he had."
"Hope you don't mind but I gave him a plate of that leftover goulash on the stove as he had the munchies and hadn't had anything to eat all day."
We said nothing. The hamsters said nothing.