Monday, June 18, 2007

David Cameron builds a house of cards on sand...


Desperate Dave Cameron harks back to Winston Churchill and the Battle of Britain.

Introduction:

Take a step backwards to the Phoney War as Dave "Bob The Builder I Can Fix It Yes I Can" Cameron drops propaganda leaflets like this speech, because he has not yet prepared any policies to attack Labour and present to the public. The British people will have a clear choice. New Labour which is old Tory, or Old Tory which is trying to pass itself off as New Labour. Don't worry if this leads you to be double-visioned. New Labour and New Tory are traveling side by side in the same direction. That is, you have Old Labour which has become New Labour with Old Tory thrown in for good measure, and New Tory which is old Tory with New Labour and Old Labour thrown in for good measure and this produces a choice between the old and the new politics. Is that clear as mud for you? It's me against Gordon Brown, and quite honestly I am shitting bricks. That's the choice at the next election, get your dictionary out as I am going to spell it out to you exactly what I mean. Bullshit Alert.

Building our house together:

First of all, get your bucket and spade. Put sand into the bucket, pat it down and then turn it over and lay it down on the sand and lift the bucket up and hey presto we have built a sand castle.

Centre ground: Oh dear, the Great Clunking Fist flattens the sand castle because he claims that it was built on his centre ground. Turn the knob on the radio and see if there is a different tune on another radio station. Its playing a repeat so rebuild the sand castle on the centre ground.

We pretend to be tree huggers and claim that we love and care for the environment. Upfront tax cuts will not fool the public, therefore, we hide the tax cuts for the rich. We can fool some of the people all of the time but not all of the people all of the time.

The foundations - social responsibility

As I said, I haven't got any detailed policies. So, what we need to do is sell the public an idea. Of course, it's pie in the sky. Not even as substantial as junk food from McDonalds. I'm going to try and sell them the old social responsibility idea. We need to let people know that there is the state and there is society and that they are different. We are the state and look after our own interests and they are society and if they have a problem they must look after themselves the best way that they can.

Vision for Britain: Security and opportunity

Building site under construction. The boards are up and we cannot see what is going on behind them. If experience is anything to go by, the builders are sat on their arses drinking tea whilst the white hats look at the plans and talk about what they would like to build but don't know yet how to achieve it. The plans don't make any sense.

Security means a strong state. And social responsibility means a strong society where possible; a strong state where necessary. Border controls and teaching Britishness to those who manage to get in anyway. Family values. We need to help the young on to the housing ladder so that they can reach their tree houses which is all they will be able to afford under the Tory government.

Stand up Speak up:

Because we are stuck for coming up with any policies, we intend to ask the public for their views.

Meanwhile, the tide comes in and washes away the sand castle...

UPDATE: Telegraph report here.

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