sdrawkcaB efiL A trautS

sdrawkcaB efiL A trautS

A friend of mine gave me the book Stuart A Life Backwards to read and said the main character reminded him of me, (he has said the same about the killer in Crime and Punishment) I tried to read it but I got bogged down. Therefore, I was grateful that BBC 2 made a 90 minute film of the story and showed it tonight between 9 and 10.30pm.

Some peoples lives are just all over the place. It takes me all my effort just staying out of prison. When people ask "How are you?", I reply, "Surviving...just". It sums up the picture. I get by.

I feel as though I am on a downward spiral, or going down on the roller coaster. I go up just a little bit, and suddenly notice all the dog hairs everywhere and decide to vacuum and sweep up and mop the house out a bit. Or, wash all the plates in the sink and tidy the draining board up. You wouldn't believe the amount of mouse shit that gets behind the microwave. The little bastards even ate most of the instruction booklet I left underneath it to keep it safe from getting lost. I think they have a nest somewhere in the back of the gas boiler or that's where they are coming and going from the house. Last year or the year before, I used to see and hear them and put up 4 mousetraps and caught 7 of the little bastards. These I have not seen or heard, and they avoid the mousetraps, but Rocky hears and smells them because I see him reacting to what he has sensed, but I know that they are there because of the mouse shit and that mousey smell under the cupboard.

I thought the BBC film of Stuart A Life Backwards was good and left me feeling emotional. So, things still can get to me then. I was beginning to think I had become so unfeeling blogging for about 16 hours a day.

I keep meaning to get my handwritten copy of my autobiography typed up and sent off to the publishers. Anyone out there know who can do some typing for me? And, that reminds me, I haven't signed and sent off the contract yet, it's been lying around waiting for ages. Oh, and I need to go and get a haircut, then I won't need another until Christmas. It's the same with my toenails, I don't cut them until they are curled right under and I have difficulty walking properly then I remember to cut them.

I just lack a bit of discipline. Just as well I didn't join the Army. I remember the Sgt. Major telling me to come back when there was a war on. I thought 'not bloody likely, if I'm not good enough for you in peace time I ain't no good to you in a war'. The Short, Sharp, Shock, didn't do no good either. I couldn't march when I went in, and still couldn't when I came out. The drill instructor said I had two left feet. I don't, I have a left and a right. But, I do sometimes lack co-ordination. It's something in the brain and linked to the Aspergers Syndrome. Unlike Stuart A Life Backwards, I'm John all over the place.