Getting to the bottom of the problem...
So, I went to the doctor's yesterday to see him about my worsening glaucoma. After the examination, I told him I had this other problem with my third eye. I dropped my trousers and leaned over his desk.
"Piles", he said.
"That's a relief", I replied.
"What did you think it was, cancer?", the doctor asked.
"No. I've been bad lassing it, and thought I might have caught a STD".