Big Chief Fundraiser stood by the camp fire, brooding, and carving a voodoo doll out of a piece of deadwood that he had found on the trail of the lonesome pine. He couldn’t sit down because earlier in the day Sergeant Bilko of the Seventh Cavalry had fired a shot at him and had given him a pain in the arse. In the distance, he could just make out the outline of a settlement called The Little Houses of Parliament on the Prairie. He wound up his wind up radio, and the radio station DJ announced that an artist from the Turner gallery, called Babe Ruth, had just released a cover version of the Animals classic “Baby please don’t let me be misunderstood”. He attacked the piece of wood with ferocity. He kicked the radio into the fire, and it immediately began to emit puffs of black smoke. Close by, Bilko tried to read the message being sent out, but it wasn’t very clear. Nevertheless, he was able to determine that there was no smoke signals without fire. He felt contented because his Auntie Beeb had initially not allowed him to tell a story, in case it offended the Sheriff of Dodgy City. But when the Local Rag published it first, she relented as the Sheriff then said it was ok.
Meanwhile, Big Chief Fundraiser had rescued the radio and it was still capable of playing but the sound was somewhat distorted. It sounded like the DJ announced Don’t be clean and the song sounded familiar too. “Bribe, bribe, Mister M&G guy, rode my Gideon Meir to the Levy but the cashpoint was dry…no matter how you slice it, cash for a Peerage or a Knight, the position I’m in is very tight…”. Big Chief Fundraiser wondered out aloud “How?”. A snake slithered by and he watched the forked tongue flicker. The voodoo doll finished, he proceeded to stick pine needles into its body. In the distance a scream could be heard. The Medicine Man was sent for, a local witchdoctor, from his bag of tricks he pulled out a bottle which appeared to leak from the top, on the label it read HP source…
[To be continued: Will Big Chief Fundraiser rejoin the tribe or remain beyond the paleface an outcast in a lawless land?]
A mixture of law, politics, autobiography and humour. Once described as "The Devilish Advocate" (Guardian), I do have the ability to provoke a response. Sometimes it comes from someone who uses a thought process, and sometimes from jerks usually associated with the knee.
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