Day in court

Day in court

Here is the weather forecast. It was pissing it down this morning in Hull and there was a wind. Naturally, my umbrella costing a £1 from the Pound Shop blew inside out and parted from the stem before I had even reached the magistrates court. I arrived at 9.30am as per my instructions from Payne and Payne solicitors. Someone representing the firm called me into an office at 10.20am, and I am unsure whether he sacked me or I sacked him, in any event I was out of the office at 10.21am. I approached the clerk and informed her that I was now representing myself and was ushered straight into Court Number 1. The magistrate was a throwback from the 18th or 19th century, patronage and all that crap. The two charges were read out:

1) Owner allow dog out of control to cause injury...Contrary to Section 3(1) and (4) of the Dangerous Dogs Act 1991;

2) Section 4 words/behaviour - fear unlawful violence...Contrary to Section 4(1) and (4) of the Public Order Act 1986.

I entered pleas of not guilty on both counts. I elected to go for the Crown Court and trial by jury on the first count, and the second charge was dropped by the prosecution. The case was adjourned until 26 February 2008. I was out of there by 10.30am.

The title is incorrect as it was not really a day in court, more like 10 minutes. Still, it is a daunting procedure and can cause stress. I think it is indicative of how weak the charge against me was that it was first downgraded from assault to threatening behaviour before being dropped altogether as soon as I indicated that I intended to defend my innocence rather than accept a guilty plea to speed things up.

Although the wording of the remaining charge refers to the owner, in effect it will be Rocky who is on trial. I have employed Ruth Bundy & Co, Leeds, to represent Rocky. Payne and Payne, Hull, will not now be on my Christmas Card list.

And if anybody is in any doubt, or has forgotten, Rocky is innocent ok?