Obituary - Sudanese Rose dies

Rose Tombe, the goat who was married to Charles Tombe, following a brief sexual encounter, has died after eating a plastic bag. The happy couple were married, in February, in Juba the South Sudan capital, at a shotgun wedding ordered by local elders to save honour, because Mr Tombe was caught sleeping with Rose before they were married. Since the wedding, Rose gave birth to a kid, a male, however, it is understood that Charles Tombe is not the father, but he will bring up the kid.

Rose rose to fame after her former owner, Mr Alifi, was disturbed from his sleep by strange noises coming from outside and there was coitus interruptus as Mr Tombe, who was alleged to be drunk at the time, fell off the back end of Rose. Mr Alifi then subjected Mr Tombe to some bondage, and led him off to the village elders in Hai Malakal and complained that Mr Tombe had got his goat up.

Rose is survived by a human, loving husband Charles, and a male kid, a goat.

The family has requested no flowers as the kid is likely to eat them. But, instead, urges supporters to seek a Downing Street E-petition to force plastic bag manufacturers to print warnings on their bags to prevent other goats suffering the same fate that befell Rose.

It is understood that Elton John is yet again to rewrite his song Candle in the Wind for the Sudanese Rose.

UPDATE: From the Book of Condolence;

Your tributes

Bleated condolences.
Mitchell Harvey, London

Another victim of the nanny state...
John, Canterbury

You're kidding....
Stephen Bridge, Glossop, Derbyshire

A cheesy story, clearly thought up on the hoof and a distraction from the mountain of more important issues affecting kids today. The BBC should be skinned for acting so beastly. I'll get me goat.
Ali, Glasgow

Ewe will be sadly missed..
Max, Manchester

Did the aticle mean 'scape goat' rather than 'goatee'?
Melissa A, London, UK

Goodbye, Sudan's Rose...
Jamie, Bury St Edmunds

Maybe Rose could live on as the mascot of the no-more-plastic-bags campaign.
Nina, London

Eeewwwwwwwwwwwww
Daniel

Goat to a better place
Adam Spurrier, Birmingham

Gone, but not forgoaten
Tom OConnell, Nowmanton, West Yorkshire

Gruff justice.
Craig Thomson, Livingston, Scotland

Ewe people have goat to start taking this sort of thing more seriously.
Tom, Sheffield

It was very sad to have herd the ram-ifications, butt the motto of the tail is not to get horny with your goat.
Jonathan Hall, Magor, South Wales

This story is udder rubbish.
Gotang, London

Hoof-ought this was a good story
Adam, Darlington