One-legged gold digger in search for gold
I was at a friend's house last night and Heather Mills became the topic of conversation. My friend opined that she thought Heather Mills is mentally unbalanced. Having seen this video, which she made and took into court yesterday, in a bid to claim that her marriage has been wrecked by the paparazzi, I would tend to agree with my friend.
A mixture of law, politics, autobiography and humour. Once described as "The Devilish Advocate" (Guardian), I do have the ability to provoke a response. Sometimes it comes from someone who uses a thought process, and sometimes from jerks usually associated with the knee.
4 comments:
The link has dissapeared.
Some Heather jokes that found online.
It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her false leg. Personally, I think it's prosthetic.
News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs. Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught over the split. "He has been my crutch for so long"! She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm really stumped"
"She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she will need all the support she can get. It's not like it's easy to walk out on a relationship like this"
After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever consider going down on one knee again. Paul said he would prefer it if we called her Heather.
It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world, and if an agreement has been signed it is believed that she won't have a leg to stand on.
Rumors abound over the split which have suggested that infidelity may have been the cause. "She's terrible" a source stated, "always trying to get her leg over".
Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the cause. "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said, "he would get home at night and find her legless"
Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler.
A miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate "I'm fucked, who will want a one legged gold digger?" His mate says "try Paul McCartney"
Finally a poem by Sir Paul McCartney:
I lay upon a grassy bank
My hands were all a quiver
I slowly removed her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river
These jokes are funny but let's spare a thought for Paul please. Now she has left him, he's going to struggle to find another woman who can fill her shoe.
Lastly it has been announced that as part of the divorce deal Paul will be buying Heather a plane, although she will also be getting some Immac for the other leg...
**Update 2: Heather Mills McCartney has been signed up to star in the American version of Strictly Come Dancing. She'll be the one doing the pogo.
Paul bought her a spare wooden leg for Christmas. It wasn't her main present though, just a stocking filler
I think that the reference to her alcoholism may have something to do with the split. Apparently she has a taste for Special Brew and is said to be able to drink 50 cans in a session. 50 Cans !!! Good grief, that woman must have hollow legs!
Its say she is planning to change her name, whats the chance she will pick the name Eileen(I lean gettit?).
What has three legs and lives on a farm? The McCartneys.
Ron: The link has been restored. She must have put her pick through it in her quest for gold.
fidothedog: Thanks. Some I have heard but others were new.
Paul was talking to Ringo and asked...what can I buy heather for xmas shes got everything?
Ringo replied...A plane maybe
Paul said....What good is a plane, she cant fly
Ringo laughed and said...No stupid a plane so she can shave her leg.
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